Matthew 5:31 – 32 “It has also been said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. 32 But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery.”
“And if you get divorced and then remarry, you have committed a mortal sin!” “God hates divorce! It is worse than any other sin you can commit!” It was 1981 and I was listening to the teaching of a popular Christian teacher, whose name I will not mention. After two days of inspiring messages, this one left me as a divorcee with a lacerated bleeding heart. But thanks be to God that He had other plans and that His mercy and grace were far greater than that speaker was willing to acknowledge. I am divorced and remarried and I am a born – again Christian. This is my story.
I was raised in a Christian home and never knew anyone who had divorced until a close family member was forced to end her marriage over her spouse’s infidelity. When I was in college and one of the girls in the dorm got engaged, we would all gather in a circle and sing, “When I fall in love, it will be forever.” And we meant it, as much as we could. But even in the 1960’s, I suddenly realized one day that nearly half my college friends came from families fractured by divorce. Certainly, that would never happen to me!
When I married a college friend, I really did intend for it to be forever. I was too blind to see the truth one of our pastor friends tried to tell me, namely, that my husband – to – be needed a social worker and a counselor far more than he needed a wife. I dimly realized that my intended came from a dysfunctional situation, but surely if I just loved him enough, love would fix everything. So, I looked at my groom through rose – colored glasses and he too saw something that scarcely resembled me. We married idols of our own creation with our names attached. In less than two years things began falling apart as I progressed in medical school, developing confidence and responsibility. We grew so far apart that the distance was unbridgeable. I insisted on marriage counseling; however, counseling never works when only one partner is interested. Finally, in my senior year of medical school we separated and eventually divorced. At that point I decided that it was going to be me and Jesus for the rest of my life! Marriage? No thanks! I had already failed and had gone through a severe depression in the process.
In the Fall of 1981 I had a prayer partner for whose marriage we were praying. In the course of our prayers, my prayer partner informed me that God was going to give me a husband, and that it would be soon. I was NOT interested; in fact, I was completely incredulous! Nonetheless, God in His sovereignty did bring Bob Young into my life and began healing both of us. Bob was also divorced and both of us realized that only God could serve as a basis for a relationship. We spent hours in prayer together and eventually married in April 1982. As we were preparing for the wedding, I found a bride’s New Testament given to me by my godmother many years earlier. I was sad because I remembered that at one point when I was in love for the first time, I had written in this book with indelible ink. Opening the book, I began searching to see what I had written……but the pages were clean. And the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart and said, “See, I DO make all things new!”
Do I encourage divorce or preach divorce? Absolutely not! Marriage is a covenant relationship and as such should be treasured and maintained whenever possible. But there are many reasons why Bible – believing Christians may find themselves forced to divorce. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual infidelity, substance abuse – these are just a few of the reasons that Christians wind up divorcing. Divorce is not something to be entered upon lightly and nobody should marry with their fingers crossed in case things don’t work out the way they want them to.
Is divorce a mortal sin? To a holy God, all sin is sin. God does not grade on a curve. But the blood of Jesus is sufficient to cleanse us from all sins. Does God give second chances? Yes! But please hear me, if you are divorced and hope to remarry, first make sure your relationship with God is on a solid footing. There is a tremendous temptation after divorce to plunge into a new relationship just to prove to yourself that you are lovable. That is NO basis for any kind of relationship! And beware of Satanic counterfeits! If God is planning to bring someone to you, Satan will try to get in there first with someone who is almost but not quite right so that you will never receive God’s best.
PRAYER: Father God, many of your children are hurting! The marriages we thought would last forever are crumbling before our eyes. Our hearts are in pieces. Please God, heal our broken relationships. Heal our broken hearts. And help us to seek you before all else. In the mighty and precious Name of Jesus. Amen.
Burunche's Blog 
Leave a comment