Burunche’s Blog

Genesis 37:18 – 30 “Now Joseph’s brothers saw him in the distance, and before he arrived, they plotted to kill him. “Here comes that dreamer!” they said to one another. “Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits. We can say that a vicious animal has devoured him. Then we shall see what becomes of his dreams!”

When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue Joseph from their hands. “Let us not take his life,” he said. “Do not shed his blood. Throw him into this pit in the wilderness, but do not lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this so that he could rescue Joseph from their hands and return him to his father.

So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the robe of many colors he was wearing— and they took him and threw him into the pit. Now the pit was empty, with no water in it And as they sat down to eat a meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were carrying spices, balm, and myrrh on their way down to Egypt.

Then Judah said to his brothers, “What profit will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay a hand on him; for he is our brother, our own flesh.” And they agreed. So when the Midianite traders passed by, his brothers pulled Joseph out of the pit and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt.

When Reuben returned to the pit and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes, returned to his brothers, and said, “The boy is gone! What am I going to do?”

Joseph has really done it now! Jacob has sent Joseph out to check on his brothers who have had to wander a long way to find grazing for their animals. Remember that four of these men are already furious with Joseph for having carried tales about them to their father. Joseph has compounded the problem by recounting dreams in which all his family members have become subservient to him. It’s quite possible that while the brothers have been sitting around watching their animals graze, they have been sharing stories about Joseph to the point that now all of them despise him thoroughly.

Joseph shows up to check on his brothers. You can imagine their thoughts, “Hmph! The last time this guy carried information to Dad, four of us wound up in trouble. What’s he want now? And why do we have to put up with him?” The brothers throw Joseph into an empty pit and start mulling over their options. Reuben, the oldest, is no angel, but he cares enough for his father that he is planning to rescue Joseph. But while Reuben is off somewhere, a caravan on its way to Egypt shows up. What a great idea! Don’t kill Joseph or beat him up; after all he IS our own flesh and blood. Just sell him to the caravan and they can send him to Egypt. Problem solved permanently! Why were the brothers reluctant to kill Joseph? Perhaps there are some traditional taboos; historically, the shedding of innocent blood has been thought to bring curses on a land. Reuben returns to find Joseph gone. But does Reuben go home and tell his father what has actually happened? Reuben’s behavior here is quite strange. Reuben SOUNDS as if he really cares about Joseph and his father; but when the pressure is on, Reuben doesn’t tell the truth at all.

v.31- 36 “they took Joseph’s robe, slaughtered a young goat, and dipped the robe in its blood. They sent the robe of many colors to their father and said, “We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe or not.”

His father recognized it and said, “It is my son’s robe! A vicious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces!” Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth around his waist, and mourned for his son many days. All his sons and daughters tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said. “I will go down to Sheol mourning for my son.” So his father wept for him.

Meanwhile, the Midianites sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh and captain of the guard.”

These are Jacob’s sons all right! Notice that they NEVER make any statements themselves; they only tell Jacob that they have found the robe and ask him if it’s Joseph’s. Jacob jumps to the natural conclusion without the need for any of the sons to lie to him. CLEVER ! But this is their father also. How can they be so cruel?

Jacob did not love his sons unconditionally or equally. Look back to the meeting with Esau; the concubines and their children came first, then Leah, and finally Rachel. There was a definite hierarchy of love in Jacob’s family. In some families, love is very conditional; each sibling feels that he must outdo the others to earn his parents’ love. Sometimes when a parent or grandparent dies, the children or grandchildren fight over the things left behind. The unspoken script is that “If I have a lot of Dad’s/Mom’s/Grandpa’s/Grandma’s things, then it means they loved me best!”

APPLICATION: How do things work in your family? If you are a parent or grandparent, do you play favorites? Do you make sure your children and grandchildren know that you love them or do you try to substitute things or activities for being with them? Don’t copy Jacob! Jacob’s failure to assure all of his sons of his love left them scrambling to prove their own importance.

What does this story have to do with forgiveness? Perhaps you were raised in a dysfunctional family; you may need to forgive your parents and grandparents and your siblings. Refusing to forgive and nourishing hurt feelings only brings more bitterness, more separation, and more loneliness. Refusing to forgive those who wronged you also may cause you to repeat the very behavior you dislike so much.

PRAYER: Father God, help us to forgive anyone in our family who has practiced conditional love. Help us to forgive our siblings, who may have also been victims just as we have. And help us to move forward and copy your unconditional love. In the mighty Name of King Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 37:1 – 11 “Now Jacob lived in the land where his father had resided, the land of Canaan. This is the account of Jacob. When Joseph was seventeen years old, he was tending the flock with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father’s wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them. Now Israel loved Joseph more than his other sons, because Joseph had been born to him in his old age; so he made him a robe of many colors. When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

Then Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain in the field, and suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around and bowed down to mine.”

“Do you intend to reign over us?” his brothers asked. “Will you actually rule us?” So they hated him even more because of his dream and his statements.

Then Joseph had another dream and told it to his brothers. “Look,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”

He told his father and brothers, but his father rebuked him and said, “What is this dream that you have had? Will your mother and brothers and I actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” And his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept in mind what he had said.”

Sibling rivalry is bad enough when a man only has one wife and several children. But remember that Jacob had 2 wives and 2 concubines. The sons of Leah were Reuben the firstborn of Jacob, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun. The sons of Rachel were Joseph and Benjamin. The sons of Rachel’s maidservant Bilhah were Dan and Naphtali. And the sons of Leah’s maidservant Zilpah were Gad and Asher. No matter what anybody wanted to think, Bilhah and Zilpah did not enjoy the same status as Rachel and Leah. This same lack of status undoubtedly carried over to their sons.

Everybody knew that Rachel was Jacob’s favorite wife and therefore her two sons, Joseph and Benjamin, were also their father’s favorites. The sons who probably ranked next were Leah’s six sons, with the sons of the maid servants ranking at the bottom.

Any sign of favoritism in a large family causes all kinds of friction, a fact to which Jacob was evidently oblivious. Jacob gave Joseph a special brightly – colored robe, one much nicer and more expensive than the drab brown material all the other sons were wearing. Then Joseph had to make the whole situation vastly worse by telling tales on Dan, Naphtali, Gad, and Asher, the sons of the concubines.

One night seventeen year old Joseph had two dreams. Being a mouthy teenager, Joseph just couldn’t keep these dreams to himself, but shared them with his brothers who were already resentful. The message of the two dreams was the same: some day Joseph would be in a position of power and the rest of the family, including his parents, would bow before him! Bad move, Joseph! In the family structure, Joseph and his brother Benjamin were the youngest sons, while the other sons were all tough grown men. The stage was set for a tragedy.

APPLICATION: Anybody who has ever run a company or a business such as a hospital knows that workers watch for signs of favoritism. If you are the head of an organization, you know that it is like being the head of a large family with lots of children, each one of whom thinks that he or she should have been born an only child! If person A receives any tiny amount of incentive pay, all the other workers will be demanding the same thing.

What does this story teach about forgiveness? This part of the story really features unforgiveness. Joseph’s brothers hated him because his father favored him and because Joseph flaunted the evidence of that favoritism.

Perhaps you find yourself in a situation in which you feel that others are favored while you are not. You can choose to be bitter or you can choose to forgive your bosses and those you feel are being favored. Perhaps your perceptions are faulty; things are seldom what they seem. You might be surprised to learn that others are envying you, feeling that you are getting additional attention, etc. If you choose to remain bitter and envious, you will poison your own attitude.

PRAYER: Father God, please help us to refuse to envy others, whether our fellow workers, our friends, or our relatives. Help us to look to you for our reward and not to others. In the mighty Name of King Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 34:13 – 24 “But because Shechem had defiled their sister Dinah, Jacob’s sons answered him and his father Hamor deceitfully. “We cannot do such a thing,” they said. “To give our sister to an uncircumcised man would be a disgrace to us. We will consent to this on one condition, that you become circumcised like us—every one of your males. Then we will give you our daughters and take your daughters for ourselves. We will dwell among you and become one people. But if you will not agree to be circumcised, then we will take our sister and go.”

Their offer seemed good to Hamor and his son Shechem. The young man, who was the most respected of all his father’s household, did not hesitate to fulfill this request, because he was delighted with Jacob’s daughter.

So Hamor and his son Shechem went to the gate of their city and addressed the men of their city: “These men are at peace with us. Let them live and trade in our land; indeed, it is large enough for them. Let us take their daughters in marriage and give our daughters to them. But only on this condition will the men agree to dwell with us and be one people: if all our men are circumcised as they are. Will not their livestock, their possessions, and all their animals become ours? Only let us consent to them, and they will dwell among us.”

All the men who went out of the city gate listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male of the city was circumcised.”

Jacob is NOT the only tricky one in the family! Jacob’s sons are plotting revenge. Shechem, the son of the prince of the Hivites, has raped their sister Dinah. The brothers want to place all the blame on Shechem, rather than acknowledge that they are partially responsible for this tragedy by failing to protect Dinah as they should have. So the brothers cook up a scheme; they promise to not only give Dinah in marriage to Shechem but also to become “one people” with the Hivites if the Hivite males will undergo circumcision. The Hivite elders think this is a great deal. Circumcision only hurts for a few days and Jacob’s family is very rich. By undergoing circumcision, the Hivites will have access to Jacob’s fortune. This decision is a tragic mistake.

v. 25 – 31 “Three days later, while they were still in pain, two of Jacob’s sons (Dinah’s brothers Simeon and Levi) took their swords, went into the unsuspecting city, and slaughtered every male. They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with their swords, took Dinah out of Shechem’s house, and went away.

Jacob’s other sons came upon the slaughter and looted the city, because their sister had been defiled. They took their flocks and herds and donkeys, and everything else in the city or in the field. They carried off all their possessions and women and children, and they plundered everything in their houses.

Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble upon me by making me repugnant to the Canaanites and Perizzites, the people of this land. We are few in number; if they unite against me and attack me, I and my household will be destroyed.”

But Simeon and Levi answered, “Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute?”

Simeon and Levi are Dinah’s direct brothers; Leah is their mother. Interestingly enough, Leah actually bore six sons: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulon. Simeon and Levi are the ones who slaughter every male and rescue Dinah from Hamor’s house. All the other brothers show up in chime to loot the city and destroy it, carrying off the women and children and all the possessions.

Is vengeance ever justified? Romans 12:17 – 19 says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”

Could Jacob have handled this situation differently? God may have given Jacob the new name of Israel, but Jacob is still being manipulative. How did Jacob present the situation to his sons when they returned from the field? It’s likely that Jacob told the story in a manner calculated to appeal to the pride of his sons. When Simeon and Levi are asking their question, are they simply echoing something Jacob has already said? Is Jacob really that unhappy that his sons have wreaked havoc on this city, or is he a bit smug? The Hivite city is wiped out and their plunder now belongs to Jacob’s family; meanwhile, Jacob’s hands are technically clean. One person who is never heard from in this story is Dinah. Would Dinah have married her rapist? We never hear about Dinah again.

APPLICATION: Terrible things happen every day. Many people find themselves or their family members victims of violent crimes. Those who do best are those who forgive and move beyond the horror of the crime. Many have testified that they have found healing when they have prayed for the perpetrators for spiritual and emotional healing. Perhaps you are facing a terrible situation now. Your business or your neighborhood have been destroyed. Let God handle the vengeance. You pray for those who have hurt you and let God heal you as you do so.

PRAYER: Father God, some of us have spent years in pain from horrible crimes committed against us or our families. Lord, help us to forgive the criminals and let you handle them in your wisdom. Help us to heal. In the mighty Name of King Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 34:1- 4 “Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land. When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the region, saw her, he took her and lay with her by force. And his soul was drawn to Dinah, the daughter of Jacob. He loved the young girl and spoke to her tenderly. So Shechem told his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as a wife.”

Everybody in the family knew that Dinah was spoiled. As the only daughter with all those brothers, Dinah generally got whatever she wanted. Dinah’s father and her brothers had warned her repeatedly not to go out without an escort, and Dinah should never have gone out by herself that day! Really, Dinah knew better, but she was bored and her brothers were all out in the fields. Why wait for someone to come and accompany her? Why not just slip over to the neighbors and visit a bit when it was so close? That morning Dinah had asked if one of her brothers could accompany her as she visited; but the boys were full of their own self – importance and had no time for their little sister.

Dinah was willful; her brothers were careless. The result was a community tragedy. Shechem, the crown prince of the region, saw Dinah by herself and grabbed her and raped her. As the son of a traditional ruler, Shechem also was probably spoiled. And this girl wasn’t a Hivite; her people were strangers. Surely the normal social conventions that applied to Hivite maidens didn’t apply to Dinah; besides, the girl had lots of brothers. Why hadn’t one of the brothers accompanied her as she went about the community? But the girl was very pretty; why not get her for a wife? Shechem was certain that if his father could handle the whole situation.

v. 5 – 12 “Jacob heard that Shechem had defiled his daughter Dinah, but since his sons were with his livestock in the field, he remained silent about it until they returned. Meanwhile, Shechem’s father Hamor came to speak with Jacob. When Jacob’s sons heard what had happened, they returned from the field. They were filled with grief and fury, because Shechem had committed an outrage in Israel by lying with Jacob’s daughter—a thing that should not be done.

But Hamor said to them, “My son Shechem longs for your daughter. Please give her to him as his wife. Intermarry with us; give us your daughters, and take our daughters for yourselves. You may settle among us, and the land will be open to you. Live here, move about freely, and acquire your own property.”

Then Shechem said to Dinah’s father and brothers, “Grant me this favor, and I will give you whatever you ask. Demand a high dowry and an expensive gift, and I will give you whatever you ask. Only give me the girl as my wife!”

Two willful spoiled young people and an attack that resulted in rape – life is rarely neat and well – compartmentalized. Deborah was both a perpetrator and a victim; had she observed the normal social conventions and waited for one of her brothers to escort her, she would have been safe. Shechem was equally a perpetrator and a victim. Shechem could easily have asked Dinah to lead him back to her father’s camp, where he could have introduced himself. Or Shechem could have left Dinah alone and simply asked his father to speak on his behalf. Neither Dinah nor Shechem observed the proper social conventions.

What is Jacob’s part in all this? Why does Jacob wait until his sons return from the field before he takes any action? Jacob wants as much backing as possible. And at this point, Jacob is older, probably seventy or eighty years old; he needs his sons to help in this matter. Is Jacob angry with his sons because none of them felt it necessary to accompany their little sister? Was it really necessary for ALL of the boys to go to the field that morning? Is Jacob feeling guilty for not having urged one of the boys to stay back and accompany Dinah? Part of the reaction of Jacob and his sons might be guilt for failing to have protected Dinah.

APPLICATION: How do you respond when something truly terrible happens? Are you willing to acknowledge your contribution to the disaster, or do you try to mindlessly blame everyone else around you, conveniently ignoring the part you have played?

As long as you are blaming others, you cannot forgive them. As long as you fail to acknowledge your failings, you cannot forgive yourself either. We will continue this story tomorrow, but it gives us several examples of the disasters lack of confession and unforgiveness can bring.

PRAYER: Father God, thank you for your mercy and your grace. Help us to face our own shortcomings and to confess them so that we can forgive ourselves and others. Help us to refuse to hold grudges or to seek revenge. In the mighty Name of King Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 33:1 – 17 “Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming toward him with four hundred men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maidservants. He put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph at the rear. But Jacob himself went on ahead and bowed to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.

Esau, however, ran to him and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept. When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he asked, “Who are these with you?”

Jacob answered, “These are the children God has graciously given your servant.” Then the maidservants and their children approached and bowed down. Leah and her children also approached and bowed down, and then Joseph and Rachel approached and bowed down.

“What do you mean by sending this whole company to meet me?” asked Esau.

“To find favor in your sight, my lord,” Jacob answered.

“I already have plenty, my brother,” Esau replied. “Keep what belongs to you.”

But Jacob insisted, “No, please! If I have found favor in your sight, then receive this gift from my hand. For indeed, I have seen your face, and it is like seeing the face of God, since you have received me favorably. Please take my present that was brought to you, because God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.” So Jacob pressed him until he accepted.

Then Esau said, “Let us be on our way, and I will go ahead of you.”

But Jacob replied, “My lord knows that the children are frail, and I must care for sheep and cattle that are nursing their young. If they are driven hard for even a day, all the animals will die. Please let my lord go ahead of his servant. I will continue on slowly, at a comfortable pace for the livestock and children, until I come to my lord at Seir.” “Let me leave some of my people with you,” Esau said.

But Jacob replied, “Why do that? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.” So that day Esau started on his way back to Seir, but Jacob went on to Succoth, where he built a house for himself and shelters for his livestock; that is why the place was called Succoth. (Succoth means “booths” or “shelters.”)

It’s crunch time!!! Jacob is finally meeting Esau, the brother who was ready to kill him for stealing his birthright and his blessing twenty years ago. Esau has always been a hunter and a warrior and now has four hundred armed men with him. What is Jacob to do? After dividing the women and children into groups, Jacob himself goes out first, bowing to the ground seven times as he meets Esau. The number seven recurs in the Bible; seven is considered the number of perfection. For Jacob to bow seven times might symbolize an act of infinite humility.

Imagine Jacob’s feelings as he is bowing. At any moment Jacob is expecting a sword across his neck or a dagger in his back; yet, he completes his bowing and nothing bad has happened. Never before has Jacob felt so exposed or so vulnerable! And then the unimaginable happens! As Jacob slowly stands up after bowing for the seventh time, Esau runs to him, hugs him, throws his arms around Jacob’s neck, and kisses Jacob. At this point, Jacob might be wondering if this act of affection is a signal for an attack, but no! Esau really is thrilled to see Jacob. The brothers hug, weep, and then hug some more. Each of them remembers when they were boys together before there were any thoughts of inheritances or blessings.

Jacob goes on to introduce his family and finally gets Esau to agree to accept the presents of livestock that he has already sent to Esau. When Esau offers to accompany Jacob to protect Jacob’s group, Jacob convinces him that is not necessary. Perhaps Jacob is still not sure how far to trust Esau.

Our focus is forgiveness and restitution. Why was this meeting between Esau and Jacob so successful? Jacob humbled himself. Proverbs 3:34 says, “He (God) mocks the mockers, but gives grace to the humble.” For twenty years Jacob has suffered at the hands of Laban. Most of one night Jacob has wrestled with an angel sent by God. Jacob has had to face his own shortcomings and his sins against his brother and has had time to repent completely. The reconciliation between Jacob and Esau is effective because Jacob has humbled himself.

APPLICATION: Humbling yourself is the toughest thing there is to do! We all want to make excuses, to let ourselves off the hook. We avoid confronting our sins as much as possible and we magnify the few good things that we do and ignore the glaring offenses we have committed against others.

Do you want peace with those whom you have wronged? Humble yourself! Allow God to show you where you have hurt others and how you can go about apologizing. Ask God to show you if there is some specific act of contrition you need to do to heal that situation. And when God gives you the answers, do it, no matter how difficult it might seem. Living with guilt is far worse; Jacob lived with guilt for twenty years.

PRAYER: Father God, open our eyes to see our sins against others. Show us how to apologize and what we might need to do to make things right. In the matchless Name of King Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 32:22 – 30 “During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two maidservants, and his eleven sons, and crossed the ford of Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, along with all his possessions.

So Jacob was left all alone, and there a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that He could not overpower Jacob, He struck the socket of Jacob’s hip and dislocated it as they wrestled. Then the man said, “Let Me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let You go unless You bless me.”

“What is your name?” the man asked. “Jacob,” he replied. (Jacob means “He grasps the heel” or “He deceives.”)

Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men, and you have prevailed.” (Israel means “He struggles with God.”)

Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me Your name.”

“Why do you ask My name?” he replied. And He blessed Jacob there. So Jacob named the place Peniel, saying, “Indeed, I have seen God face to face, and yet my life was spared.” (Peniel or Penuel means “the face of God.”)

On the face of it, this is a very strange passage that appears to have little to do with forgiveness. God has already forgiven Jacob and blessed him abundantly with wives, children, possessions, servants, and livestock. Why does Jacob get up in the middle of the night and send everyone and everything across the Jabbok, returning to the east side by himself? Somehow Jacob must feel a need to be alone with God, something it would certainly be difficult to do in the midst of fussing children and animals making all kinds of noises.

Frankly, Jacob is worried about his upcoming meeting with Esau. With four hundred warriors Esau can easily wipe out Jacob and his entire family and take everything Jacob has slaved for for twenty years. By now Jacob is remembering every time he cheated Esau, every time he snickered at Esau behind Esau’s back for being a muscle – bound oaf. Even though Jacob has sent very handsome gifts ahead of him, there is no guarantee that Esau will not simply wipe out Jacob and steal Jacob’s wives and children and everything else. And Jacob is remembering how he deceived his aging father by pretending to be Esau to gain the blessing that should have gone to Esau.

While Jacob is sitting there in the dark and the stillness, a man shows up and begins to wrestle with him. Why does Jacob engage in the wrestling match? Perhaps Jacob feels that this stranger is from God and that God is punishing him yet again for his treachery to Esau. Evidently, the two are evenly matched because there is no mention of the stranger being able to overpower Jacob. As a shepherd who has spent twenty years walking, fighting off wild animals, and carrying wounded sheep, Jacob is quite strong. Each time it appears that the stranger is about to pin Jacob, somehow Jacob gets out of his grasp. Perhaps each time the stranger throws Jacob to the ground, Jacob remembers another one of his sins against Esau or against his aged father Isaac. Perhaps as Jacob remembers each sin, he begs God to forgive him. By now Jacob has probably realized that this stranger must have come from God. Finally as Jacob repents of the last sin he can recollect, the dawn breaks. The divine stranger touches Jacob’s hip, causing it to dislocate and ending the wrestling match. And it is after this strange wrestling match that God performs the biggest act of forgiveness of all: He gives Jacob a new name.

Jacob was the second – born twin and came out of the womb holding Esau’s heel, hence his name. All Jacob’s life he has born a name that is a kind of curse, but now God is giving Jacob a new name, a strong positive name, “Israel.” The angelic stranger tells Jacob that he has earned this name because he has struggled with both God and man and has won. Jacob stands there amazed, both at his new name and also at the fact that he has seen the face of God and is still alive.

APPLICATION: Sometimes we need to be alone with God as Jacob was and allow God to do whatever He desires with us. We must remember that God knows us far better than we know ourselves. We are fond of making excuses and covering up our wrong – doing. Sometimes before we are willing to face our sins, we must wrestle mentally, emotionally, or spiritually with God. The wrestling process is necessary because we are stubborn and cling to our pet sins!

God loves us too much to leave us in our sins, particularly our sins against others. We are like small children who have played in mud who now are demanding that our loving Father pick us up. Why not allow God to clean the mud by confessing your sins and repenting of them?

PRAYER: Father God, thank you for the example of Jacob. Thank you that you love us too much to leave us alone but that it is your will to perfect us into your image. Help us to cooperate and not to fight you while this process is taking place. In the matchless Name of King Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 32: 3 – 12 “Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. He instructed them, “You are to say to my master Esau, ‘Your servant Jacob says: I have been staying with Laban and have remained there until now. I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, menservants, and maidservants. I have sent this message to inform my master, so that I may find favor in your sight.’”

When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau; he is coming to meet you—he and four hundred men with him.” In great fear and distress, Jacob divided his people into two camps, as well as the flocks and herds and camels. He thought, “If Esau comes and attacks one camp, then the other camp can escape.”

Then Jacob declared, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, the LORD who told me, ‘Go back to your country and to your kindred, and I will make you prosper,’ I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness You have shown Your servant. Indeed, with only my staff I came across the Jordan, but now I have become two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid that he may come and attack me, and also the mothers and their children with me. But You have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper, and I will make your offspring like the sand of the sea, too numerous to count.’

Jacob wants to return to Canaan; but to do so, he must pass through Esau’s territory. After twenty years of hardship under Laban, Jacob has a much clearer idea of the wrong that he has done to Esau. At the same time, Jacob remembers that Esau has a quick temper and is likely to attack first and reflect later, if at all. Jacob does the most diplomatic thing possible: he sends messengers ahead of him and instructs them to give a very humbly – worded message. It seems that Jacob’s fears are well founded, for Esau sets out with four hundred men to meet Jacob. Jacob prays an eloquent prayer, but it could be condensed into a single word: HELP!!!

v. 13 – 20 “Jacob spent the night there, and from what he had brought with him, he selected a gift for his brother Esau: 200 female goats, 20 male goats, 200 ewes, 20 rams, 30 milk camels with their young, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 female donkeys, and 10 male donkeys. He entrusted them to his servants in separate herds and told them, “Go on ahead of me, and keep some distance between the herds.”

He instructed the one in the lead, “When my brother Esau meets you and asks, ‘To whom do you belong, where are you going, and whose animals are these before you?’ then you are to say, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift, sent to my lord Esau. And behold, Jacob is behind us.’”

He also instructed the second, the third, and all those following behind the herds: “When you meet Esau, you are to say the same thing to him. You are also to say, ‘Look, your servant Jacob is right behind us.’” For he thought, “I will appease Esau with the gift that is going before me. After that I can face him, and perhaps he will accept me.”

What is Jacob trying to do with these gifts? Consider the fact that Jacob has had twenty years of herding Laban’s animals. Somewhere out there in the cold dark nights, Jacob has had time to realize just how badly he has cheated Esau. Each time that Laban has changed Jacob’s wages and has tried to cheat him again, Jacob has remembered his manipulations of Esau. At this point, Jacob wants to save his family and himself but he also wants to try to make things right with Esau. These gifts of animals are Jacob’s way of trying to make restitution.

APPLICATION; Many times, we are the ones who have wronged someone else. There is a saying that “The first rule of holes is that if you find yourself in one, STOP DIGGING!” When we are having problems with someone else, we need to examine the situation; it’s quite possible that the other person is the aggrieved party and that we are the offenders. Once you find yourself in such a situation, the next step is to pray and ask God what He wants you to do about it. Peace is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit and God can bring peace to any situation. But we must be willing to pay the price of peace and sometimes that price seems high.

Perhaps you have cheated someone on a business deal; is there a way of making restitution? Perhaps you have lied about someone or jumped to a wrong conclusion and spread a vicious rumor. There is no limit to the ways in which we can offend others. But at the same time, God is a God of infinite variety and possibilities and God can lead us to the right way in which to make restitution in our particular situation. Is restitution an easy process? No. Many times restitution can be painful or embarrassing or expensive. But living a lie brings more pain and expense and can even wreck your health. Remember, God keeps the books. Even if the person you have wronged has no idea of your offense, God knows.

One day when Jesus was teaching his disciples, he told them, “Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24 When we make restitution and reconcile, we are free to worship God. But when we attempt to ignore our wrong – doing and refuse to seek reconciliation, we will not be able to worship God and our prayers will be blocked. Jesus went on to say, “Reconcile quickly with your adversary, while you are still on the way to court. Otherwise he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” Matthew 5:25 – 26

PRAYER: Father God, please show us those whom we have wronged with whom we need to reconcile. Show us where restitution is necessary. Give us the courage to humble ourselves and to make things right. In the mighty and precious Name of King Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 31:43 – 53 “But Laban answered Jacob, “These daughters are my daughters, these sons are my sons, and these flocks are my flocks! Everything you see is mine! Yet what can I do today about these daughters of mine or the children they have borne? Come now, let us make a covenant, you and I, and let it serve as a witness between you and me.”

So Jacob picked out a stone and set it up as a pillar, and he said to his relatives, “Gather some stones.” So they took stones and made a mound, and there by the mound they ate. Laban named it Jegar-sahaduth(Aramaic for “heap of witness,” but Jacob called it Galeed.(Hebrew for “heap of witness)

Then Laban declared, “This mound is a witness between you and me this day.” Therefore the place was called Galeed. It was also called Mizpah (watch tower), because Laban said, “May the LORD keep watch between you and me when we are absent from one another. If you mistreat my daughters or take other wives, although no one is with us, remember that God is a witness between you and me.”

Laban also said to Jacob, “Here is the mound, and here is the pillar I have set up between you and me. This mound is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not go past this mound to harm you, and you will not go past this mound and pillar to harm me. May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.” So Jacob swore by the Fear of his father Isaac.

By this point, Laban realizes that he’s fighting a losing battle. God has already warned Laban not to say anything either bad or good to Jacob; while Laban might not fear Jacob, God has definitely frightened him! But Laban can’t give up without making noises as if he is still the one in control. Laban is still trying to claim all Jacob’s family and his possessions; however, Jacob has fulfilled every condition that Laban has set, no matter how demanding or unreasonable that condition might be. And Laban has begun to realize that if God has blessed Jacob to this extent, Jacob and his family might prove to be a danger in the future. Now Laban proposes a covenant, but a covenant for which there is physical evidence. What Laban was proposing was a fairly common practice at that time – the construction of a mound of stones that would memorialize that covenant.

Agreeing with Laban, Jacob picks up a large stone and sets it up as a pillar; other relatives then create a heap of stones around the large stone. Laban calls on his god and Jacob calls on God to witness the agreement and to enforce it. These vows were deadly serious ones; both Laban and Jacob expected retribution from heaven if they broke the covenant agreement. After setting up the heap of stones, Jacob offers a sacrifice and invites his relatives to eat with them. The next day, Laban and his company take their leave, returning home.

APPLICATION: What does this passage teach about forgiveness? Laban scarcely acts as an ideal model; however, he does recognize the futility of continuing to pursue Jacob. Sometimes there are no neat solutions to a personality conflict and the most you can hope for is a solution on which both sides can agree. Notice that while Laban is still grumbling about his losses, Jacob does not answer him as he has in the past. Clearly, Laban has made every attempt to misuse and cheat Jacob and only God’s intervention and Jacob’s hard work has saved Jacob from winding up a pauper. But this time, Jacob refuses to argue.

In the process of forgiveness, there is a time for discussion; but at some point, you must move past discussions to find some kind of solution. Jacob realizes that Laban’s arguments are no longer important, so he ignores them. Has Jacob really forgiven Laban? Not necessarily, but Jacob realizes it’s time to move forward. Laban suggests a covenant, but Jacob is the one who sets up the large pillar and then asks others to gather smaller stones to pile around the pillar.

Years ago, we were in a training program for missionaries. In the program with us was a couple who were also slated to go to Africa. But while the husband was a former missionary kid for whom Africa was home, the wife struggled with every aspect of the program. Unfortunately, we were in the same small group with this couple and we were obviously enjoying the program immensely. For some reason, the wife chose to focus all her fear, rancor and resentment on us, making vicious comments and even complaining about us to the leaders of the program. (We had minimal contact with this lady outside our classes.) The program leaders did not handle the situation well; instead, they allowed these complaints to be aired in an open meeting, leaving us stunned and horrified. We were willing to forgive this unfortunate lady; however, she steadfastly refused to forgive us for our sins of enjoying what she could not. Finally, we had to accept the fact that there would be no such thing as closure in this situation. All we could do was to forgive this lady and leave God to heal whatever hurts she had. Emotionally, we set up a pillar; we refused to obsess about this lady’s complaints and every time we thought of her, we forgave her all over again.

Forgiveness is not a one – time act. There are many times when we must set up pillars and then refuse to trespass beyond those limits. C.S. Lewis, the famous Christian author, struggled for years to forgive his father for emotionally battering him. Repeatedly, Lewis would remember some hurt his father had inflicted and would have to forgive all over again. But one day Lewis realized that the burden of resentment against his father was gone completely.

Got a problem with somebody who has no interest in coming to any agreement with you? Make a decision that you are going to forgive and set up an emotional pillar. If necessary, have some physical object that will remind you of your decision. Then every time Satan wants you to start obsessing about your hurts all over again, point to your pillar and choose to forgive. It works!

PRAYER: Father God, help us to choose to forgive even when those who have wronged us have no interest in repenting themselves. You have forgiven us and Jesus has died so that we will have forgiveness of our sins. Help us to forgive others and to covenant with ourselves to leave those matters with you. In the matchless Name of King Jesus. Amen.

Genesis 31:22 – 25 “On the third day Laban was informed that Jacob had fled. So he took his relatives with him, pursued Jacob for seven days, and overtook him at Mount Gilead. But that night God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream and warned him, “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.” Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country of Gilead when Laban overtook him, and Laban and his relatives camped there as well.”

Jacob has left Paddan – aram and is returning to Canaan with his family, his livestock, and his servants. Just as they are about to leave, Rachel steals her father’s household idols without telling Jacob. (Jacob may have a relationship with the One True God; however, Rachel evidently thinks that Jacob has exclusive rights to God and therefore she needs the gods with which she grew up.) Jacob is already three days’ journey down the road when Laban finds out that Jacob has left. Laban gathers up all his male relatives and pursues Jacob. What might have happened had God not intervened, nobody knows. But God warns Laban, literally putting the fear of Him into Laban.

v. 26 – 31 “Then Laban said to Jacob, “What have you done? You have deceived me and carried off my daughters like captives of war! Why did you run away secretly and deceive me, without even telling me? I would have sent you away with joy and singing, with tambourines and harps. But you did not even let me kiss my grandchildren and daughters goodbye. Now you have done a foolish thing.

I have power to do you great harm, but last night the God of your father said to me, ‘Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.’ Now you have gone off because you long for your father’s house. But why have you stolen my gods?” “I was afraid,” Jacob answered, “for I thought you would take your daughters from me by force. If you find your gods with anyone here, he shall not live! In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself if anything is yours, and take it back.” For Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the idols.”

SAY WHAT??? Laban gets a quaver in his voice and describes an idyllic parting in which he would have sent Jacob and his family away with music and fond kisses for the grandchildren. How ridiculous! This is Laban, the same man about whom his daughters complained that he was treating them like strangers and that he had squandered their dowry money. Jacob probably has a very accurate idea of what Laban would have done, had Jacob informed Laban ahead of time that he wanted to return to Canaan. After all, God had to warn Laban in a dream to leave Jacob alone; God doesn’t give out warnings needlessly. And now we get to the heart of things: Laban is furious that Jacob has stolen Laban’s household gods. Unfortunately, in an impassioned denial, Jacob lays a death curse on anyone who has stolen the idols; that curse comes to rest on Rachel and later she dies in childbirth delivering Benjamin.

Laban searches the entire camp. Rachel has hidden the idols in a camel saddle and sits on it when her father enters her tent, telling her father that she is menstruating and needs to sit. Laban gives Rachel a wide berth because it is taboo for a man to be in the presence of a menstruating female. Obviously, Laban is NOT the only tricky member of the family!

v. 36 – 42 “Then Jacob became incensed and challenged Laban. “What is my crime?” he said. “For what sin of mine have you so hotly pursued me? You have searched all my goods! Have you found anything that belongs to you? Put it here before my brothers and yours, that they may judge between the two of us.

I have been with you for twenty years now. Your sheep and goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten the rams of your flock. I did not bring you anything torn by wild beasts; I bore the loss myself. And you demanded payment from me for what was stolen by day or night. As it was, the heat consumed me by day and the frost by night, and sleep fled from my eyes.

Thus for twenty years I have served in your household—fourteen years for your two daughters and six years for your flocks—and you have changed my wages ten times! If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, surely by now you would have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my affliction and the toil of my hands, and last night He rendered judgment.”

What does this story teach about forgiveness and unforgiveness?

1. Unforgiveness: Rachel steals the household gods. Many cultures have such idols, and they are believed to bring protection and blessing to the family. Is Rachel stealing these idols so that she will be protected and blessed, or is she coldly furious with her father for the shabby manner in which he has treated her sister and her? Rachel needs to forgive her father and does not.

2. Unforgiveness: Laban has cheated and used Joseph as much as he can; yet, Laban still resents Joseph because God has blessed Joseph. Laban needs to forgive Joseph and will not.

3. Unforgiveness: Jacob needs to forgive Laban for Laban’s cheating, lying, and manipulations. Jacob has suffered for twenty years and Laban has forced him to bear losses that should have been Laban’s and has changed his wages ten times.

APPLICATION: Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not something based on another person’s willingness to confess their wrong. As the story continues, we will see that Laban never actually repents. If you are looking for closure by an act of contrition on the part of the other person, forget it! You might wait forever.

PRAYER: Father God, help us to forgive those who hurt us, no matter the circumstances. Thank you that you have forgiven us for far worse sins than anything someone else can do to us. Thank you for loving us and for sending Jesus to die for our sins. In the mighty Name of King Jesus. Amen.