1 Samuel 20:18 “Then Jonathan said to David, “Tomorrow is the New Moon, and you will be missed if your seat is empty. When you have stayed three days, hurry down to the place you hid on the day this trouble began, and remain beside the stone Ezel. I will shoot three arrows to the side of it, as if I were aiming at a target. Then I will send a boy and say, ‘Go, find the arrows!’ Now, if I expressly say to him, ‘Look, the arrows are on this side of you; bring them,’ then come, because as surely as the LORD lives, it is safe for you and there is no danger. But if I say to the young man, ‘Look, the arrows are beyond you,’ then you must go, for the LORD has sent you away. And as for the matter you and I have discussed, the LORD is a witness between you and me forever.”
So, David hid in the field, and when the New Moon had come, the king sat down to eat. He sat in his usual place by the wall, opposite Jonathan and beside Abner, but David’s place was empty. Saul said nothing that day because he thought, “Something has happened to David to make him ceremonially unclean—surely he is unclean.”
But on the day after the New Moon, the second day, David’s place was still empty, and Saul asked his son Jonathan, “Why hasn’t the son of Jesse come to the meal either yesterday or today?”
Jonathan answered, “David urgently requested my permission to go to Bethlehem, saying, ‘Please let me go because our clan is holding a sacrifice in the city, and my brother has told me to be there. So now, if I have found favor in your eyes, please let me go and see my brothers.’ That is why he did not come to the king’s table.”
Then Saul’s anger burned against Jonathan, and he said to him, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the disgrace of the mother who bore you? For as long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingship shall be established. Now send for him and bring him to me, for he must surely die!”
“Why must he be put to death?” Jonathan replied. “What has he done?” Then Saul hurled his spear at Jonathan to kill him; so, Jonathan knew that his father was determined to kill David. Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger and did not eat any food that second day of the month, for he was grieved by his father’s shameful treatment of David. In the morning Jonathan went out to the field for the appointment with David, and a small boy was with him. He said to the boy, “Run and find the arrows I shoot.” And as the boy ran, Jonathan shot an arrow beyond him.
When the boy reached the place where Jonathan’s arrow had fallen, Jonathan called to him, “Isn’t the arrow beyond you?” Then Jonathan cried out, “Hurry! Make haste! Do not delay!” So, the boy picked up the arrow and returned to his master.
But the boy did not know anything; only Jonathan and David knew the arrangement. Then Jonathan gave his equipment to the boy and said, “Go, take it back to the city.”
When the young man had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone, fell facedown, and bowed three times. Then he and Jonathan kissed each other and wept together—though David wept more.
And Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for the two of us have sworn in the name of the LORD when we said, ‘May the LORD be a witness between you and me, and between your descendants and mine forever.’” Then David got up and departed, and Jonathan went back into the city.”
It finally has happened! All this time, Jonathan has been trying to convince himself that his father really likes David, but now Jonathan’s eyes are opened. Saul is expecting David to show up for the feast of the New Moon and is already plotting to kill David. You can almost see Saul sitting there fidgeting and cracking his knuckles, obsessing on how he will kill David. But David doesn’t turn up, and when Jonathan makes a perfectly reasonable excuse for David, Saul goes ballistic! Not only does Saul insult Jonathan, but he even attempts to spear Jonathan just as he has attempted to spear David.
Now Jonathan finally realizes that Saul indeed plans to murder David at the first opportunity. The next day, Jonathan fulfills his agreement with David, going out for some informal target practice. Jonathan deliberately tells the small boy who is retrieving his arrows that the arrows are beyond him – the signal Jonathan and David have agreed upon to indicate that Saul is out to kill David. The boy retrieves the arrows and returns to the city, while David and Jonathan hug each other and weep together. David probably weeps more because he realizes that this may be the last time he sees Jonathan and he already knows that eventually he and not Jonathan will become king. David realizes that for him to become king, Saul must die; but now for the first time, David is realizing that Jonathan might die as well. David has moved in the prophetic for years, and not all prophetic insights are pleasant ones.
APPLICATION: What do you do when your cherished beliefs about someone turn out to be false? Jonathan was a loyal son and he longed for Saul to be a virtuous father. But the longer Saul was king, the further his mental state deteriorated. The day Saul insulted Jonathan’s mother and then threw that spear at him, Jonathan was forced to face a grim reality. It became obvious that Saul didn’t care for Jonathan nearly as much as he cared about remaining in power at all costs.
As children, we accept bizarre situations as normal because we have no frame of reference. It is only as we mature that we reflect and realize that we were in dysfunctional situations without realizing it. David and Jonathan both came from dysfunctional families. After all, David’s father thought so little of him that he sent David out to risk his life defending the family sheep from lions and bears. When Samuel came to anoint one of Jesse’s sons as the next king, Jesse didn’t even consider David worthy of mention. We don’t know how many other children Saul had apart from Jonathan; however, at one point, Saul was willing to kill Jonathan because Jonathan had eaten some honey at a time when Saul had foolishly insisted that his men fast completely until the end of a battle. Only public outcry saved Jonathan that time. Now when Jonathan was making reasonable excuses for David and asking polite questions, Saul was prepared to kill Jonathan with a spear in front of the entire court. Those stories don’t speak well for either Jesse or for Saul.
King Saul never worshiped the God of Israel; he only went through the motions. In many respects, Saul was a total failure as a father. We know nothing about Jesse; however, from the behavior of David’s brothers, it’s doubtful that David’s family were sincerely faithful to God either. David turned out as well as he did because he spent all that time out in the wilderness, alone with the sheep and God. God was much more important to David as a father than was Jesse.
What do you do if your father is incompetent, vicious, unconcerned, or absent? No matter which category your father falls into, you are a fatherless child. Psalm 68:5 – 6 tells us “A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families…”
Let’s face it, there are NO perfect fathers! Even if your father seems to be a lot better than those of your friends, sooner or later, he will fail because he is human. But we have a Heavenly Father who always loves us and always cares for us, who knows us better than we know ourselves. We do not have to depend on earthly fathers for all our training; we can pray to God, and He will guide us and protect us. “Protect us?” you ask. But what about the Christians all over the world who are being killed for their faith? What kind of protection is that?” That is a worthy question. God has never promised to keep us from all suffering, but He has promised to give us the strength to endure suffering. God will protect us spiritually from evil if we only will ask. And God will help us to become good parents so that we can follow His plans for raising children.
Don’t waste time regretting that your father has failed you. Turn to God, and He will comfort, strengthen, encourage, guide and keep you.
PRAYER: Father God, thank You for loving us and for caring for us. Lord, let all those who read these words come to know You, the ultimate Father for whom their hearts long. In the mighty and precious Name of King Jesus. Amen.
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