Job Speaks
“After this, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth. He said: “May the day of my birth perish, and the night that said, ‘A boy is conceived!’
That day—may it turn to darkness; may God above not care about it; may no light shine on it. May gloom and utter darkness claim it once more; may a cloud settle over it; may blackness overwhelm it.
That night—may thick darkness seize it; may it not be included among the days of the year nor be entered in any of the months.
May that night be barren; may no shout of joy be heard in it. May those who curse days curse that day, those who are ready to rouse Leviathan. May its morning stars become dark; may it wait for daylight in vain and not see the first rays of dawn, for it did not shut the doors of the womb on me to hide trouble from my eyes.
“Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb? Why were there knees to receive me and breasts that I might be nursed? For now I would be lying down in peace; I would be asleep and at rest with kings and rulers of the earth, who built for themselves places now lying in ruins, with princes who had gold, who filled their houses with silver.
Or why was I not hidden away in the ground like a stillborn child, like an infant who never saw the light of day?
There the wicked cease from turmoil, and there the weary are at rest. Captives also enjoy their ease; they no longer hear the slave driver’s shout. The small and the great are there, and the slaves are freed from their owners.
“Why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul, to those who long for death that does not come, who search for it more than for hidden treasure, who are filled with gladness and rejoice when they reach the grave?
Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in? For sighing has become my daily food;
my groans pour out like water. What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.”
If you have never been severely depressed, then Job’s statements in this chapter will seem completely out of bounds. If you HAVE struggled with depression, then Job’s statements will seem eerily familiar. Basically, Job wants to die; he is sorry he ever was born; and he is cursing the day and night in which he was born, claiming that nothing good should come to that date or should happen on that date.
Although we don’t know very much about Job ‘s culture, we do know that in ancient Israel, musicians would play as soon as they heard that a baby boy had been born. (If it was a girl, the musicians would quietly slink home without sounding a note!)
““Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb.” One of the problems with depression tis that we view all our life events from a twisted standpoint. Here Job is not remembering all the joy his children gave him or the close relationships he had with his dead servants. Job’s wife is still alive, but he refuses to consider that fact. Job can’t even think about how three of his closest friends have been willing to come and sit with him for seven days and seven nights without saying a word – quite a tribute.
“May those who curse days curse that day, those who are ready to rouse Leviathan.” Remember that Job is living in a society in which blessings and curses are taken very seriously. Here Job is referring to mediums or magicians who can put curses on a day and who can summon demons. Job believes in God; however, he is still a product of his culture.
“What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me. I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.” Job’s thoughts have raced around in his brain to the point that he can’t think of anything else apart from his losses. Evidently, at some point Job has played the “what if?” game, and now his worst fears have been realized.
APPLICATION: There are a number of misconceptions about depression. One pastor once told me that anybody who’s depressed is simply not trying hard enough. Other believers are certain that depression is a mark of faithlessness and that somehow if you simply hike up your spiritual socks, you can make it through. Rubbish! All of that is rubbish!
In 1990 we had been summarily let go by our first mission sending agency, the same one that refused to closely study the facts in our situation, forcing us to live in an emotionally abusive situation for many months. Since I was the one who had blown the whistle on many of the problems, I had become the target of wrath and probably several curses as well. When we had re-settled in our previous location for one month and felt safe, I began feeling myself crumbling inside. I quickly got help and connected with a counselor and a psychiatrist within 24 hours; those two connections saved me from winding up on a psych ward. Although antidepressants are supposed to take a week or two to begin working, I felt better almost immediately. I had handed my problems over to someone else and I was not the main burden bearer any more. These measures were only the beginning; I was still depressed and it took several months for the depression to lift. I did resume work as a minor emergency clinic doctor after one month; however, I worked part – time for three months before expanding my hours.
This was not the first time I had been severely depressed. Just before Christmas during my freshman year of college, I was so depressed that I actually considered suicide. I suffered through a severe depression during the last half of my senior year of medical school. There is a term used to describe people suffering from depression – psychomotor retardation. That term indicates that the sufferer cannot make a decision and then get his/her body to cooperate. At the depth of my depression, I found myself standing in front of my closet for thirty minutes trying to decide which of two pairs of jeans I would wear that day. The only reason I did not commit suicide was that my mother had taught school with a lady whose brilliant son did commit suicide as a senior in medical school, and the family was devastated. Although I had no self – esteem at that point, I loved my family enough not to want to cause them to suffer.
For me, the amazing thing about my experiences in 1990-91 was that I realized I had been chronically depressed since early childhood. As I gained emotional healing from the acute depression, I was also able to heal from the chronic one as well. I came out of that year far more emotionally healthy than I had ever been before. But I can testify that severely depressed people do not commit suicide when they are at their lowest; they simply don’t have the energy. Far more dangerous is the time when the person is starting to get better but is not seeing any progress. That is when the depressed person has enough energy to commit suicide and not enough perspective to avoid it.
Perhaps you can identify with Job. Circumstances have overwhelmed you and you feel there is no point in continuing to live. You feel as if you are at the bottom of a garbage pit with no light shining through the garbage. That certainly was how I felt during my depression in medical school. But just at times when I would begin to panic, something would happen in my spirit. It was as if I were a frightened little puppy and someone suddenly came along and began stroking my fur, reassuring and calming me; I know now that was the Holy Spirit. Somebody somewhere was praying and God answered their prayers by helping me.
Even in the depths of despair, you can still receive that same comfort. Ask God to reveal Himself to you and then wait. You may not feel anything dramatic, but you will be given strength to carry on. And when you are depressed, don’t beat yourself up; focus on doing one more positive thing, something small such as picking up the scattered clothes in your room, doing the dishes, ironing a few items, or vacuuming one room. If you have a safe place in which to walk or ride a bicycle, get outside, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Studies have shown that being outside for a short time each day is beneficial to health. Let’s pray.
PRAYER: Father God, thank You for loving us and for caring for us. Lord, there may be many people who are reading these words who are ready to give up and end their lives. Speak to all their hearts! Calm all their anxious minds! Touch all those people in ways only You know so that they are given the strength and courage to continue. Let them see Your Light shining through their darkness and help them to follow that light out of the pit of despair. In the mighty and precious Name of King Jesus. Amen.
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