Avoiding Immorality (Leviticus 20:10-21; 1 Corinthians 5:1-8)
“My son, pay attention to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. Though the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil, her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to Sheol. She does not consider the path of life; she does not know that her ways are unstable.
So now, my sons, listen to me, and do not turn aside from the words of my mouth. Keep your path far from her; do not go near the door of her house, lest you concede your vigor to others, and your years to one who is cruel; lest strangers feast on your wealth, and your labors enrich the house of a foreigner. At the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and your body are spent, and you will say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my mentors. I am on the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly.”
Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Why should your springs flow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth: A loving doe, a graceful fawn—may her breasts satisfy you always; may you be captivated by her love forever. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress, or embrace the bosom of a stranger? For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and the LORD examines all his paths. The iniquities of a wicked man entrap him; the cords of his sin entangle him. He dies for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.”
“My son, pay attention to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, that you may maintain discretion and your lips may preserve knowledge. Though the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil, her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to Sheol. She does not consider the path of life; she does not know that her ways are unstable.” It’s been called the oldest profession, and it’s certainly one of the oldest, although farmers could argue that farming is older. Obviously, any woman attempting to seduce a susceptible man is going to speak as sweetly as possible, even though the end result will be hellish. We can’t be certain how old sexually transmitted diseases are; however, they have been a fact for years as well.
“So now, my sons, listen to me, and do not turn aside from the words of my mouth. Keep your path far from her; do not go near the door of her house, lest you concede your vigor to others, and your years to one who is cruel; lest strangers feast on your wealth, and your labors enrich the house of a foreigner. At the end of your life you will groan when your flesh and your body are spent, and you will say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my mentors. I am on the brink of utter ruin in the midst of the whole assembly.”
The story of Samson is repeated in every generation. A gifted man involves himself with totally unsuitable women, only for that involvement to ruin him. Unfortunately, such involvements not only ruin things for the man himself but also for many of his family members. The key phrase here is: “How I hated discipline., and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my mentors.”
“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth: A loving doe, a graceful fawn—may her breasts satisfy you always; may you be captivated by her love forever. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress, or embrace the bosom of a stranger?” Women’s magazines make big money from addressing these issues. How to maintain a husband’s interest? How to remain attractive while working 40 hours a week, commuting to and from home, and trying to keep up with housework? And how does a man maintain his interest in his wife, rather than allowing his thoughts to stray?
“For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and the LORD examines all his paths. The iniquities of a wicked man entrap him; the cords of his sin entangle him. He dies for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly.” The key word here is discipline. It takes discipline to maintain a relationship despite the stresses that would tear it apart. It takes discipline to look the other direction when an attractive member of the opposite sex appears, particularly if that person becomes aggressively friendly. It takes discipline to refuse to substitute the positive feedback we may receive from work or hobbies for spending real time with our families. It takes discipline to refuse to become offended and seek solace with anyone emotionally available when a spouse speaks to us abruptly. And it takes discipline to spend quality time with our families and not simply occupy the same room at the same time while we all are on cell phones.
APPLICATION: The title of this study came from advice an Italian American uncle gave my husband when my husband was headed to the U.S. Navy at age nineteen. “Bobby,” Uncle Philip advised my husband, “beware of da girl wit da ruby red lips!” Studying Proverbs 5, you realize that summarizes much of this chapter.
True commitment demands a great deal of self-discipline. Eugene Petersen wrote the book A Long Obedience in the Same Direction about the pilgrim psalms, the psalms of ascents. But faithfulness to one’s spouse could easily be described in that same fashion. Let’s face it, nobody is an angel and after the honeymoon glow has worn off, marriage can become a grind, especially if several small children are added to the mix. Part of the problem is that we may enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, assuming that the intense physical attraction that has helped bring us together will last indefinitely. While physical attraction is important, for couples to stay together, they must become each other’s best friend. Friendship requires a willingness to help, understand, encourage, and tolerate another’s shortcomings, realizing that they are having to tolerate yours as well.
Another part of marriage is listening and responding. For us, the last few months have been hectic. Our birthdays have passed in a blur of work-necessary work, but work that precluded opportunity for celebration. I realized it was time to step back when my husband began begging me to take time off. I have cleared things at work and we will be out for a few days. Generally, if we go out, we are doing things for the mission hospital where we work. We must respect each other and honor each other. This matter of honor can be difficult if you have come from a family where honor was not practiced, and you may have to work at it.
Yet another means of maintaining a commitment is accountability. If you are unwilling to be accountable to your spouse, you had better not marry in the first place. We honor each other when we allow the other person to question our motives or to ask, “Are you sure you are doing the right thing?” We also guard each other’s hearts by being careful about the books or electronic media we allow in our home. A home should be a refuge, a place of peace. But you must fight to maintain that peace because there are all sorts of influences that can come through television or social media.
We had a pastor friend who somehow became addicted to online pornography. Our friend’s wife could have become revolted and left him; instead, she stood by him, prayed for him, and helped him overcome this addiction. And that story brings up another point: your spouse should be one of your closest prayer partners. If you can’t pray with someone, don’t marry them. A successful marriage must be based on God; otherwise, the marriage has little chance of survival. Love alone is not enough. Sexual attraction may wane, especially as body parts begin to go south. There are all kinds of stresses that can tear a marriage apart; if you don’t pray together and worship together, your marriage has little chance of staying together.
One final tip: kiss each other and tell each other “I love you” every time you are about to separate for any length of time. In my home area, there was an older couple living on a farm who loved each other very much. But one rainy morning, the husband tracked mud onto the kitchen floor and they exchanged words. The husband went off to town and was killed when a freight train at a crossing with a non-functioning signal struck his vehicle. For the rest of her life, the wife had to live with the fact that the last words she said to her husband were bitter ones. That story has cautioned us for years. I kiss my husband each morning just before I hop on my bicycle to ride to the hospital, even though it is a short distance. These days, we have tricycle vehicles called “Motokings” that blaze along, heedless of anyone else on the road. There’s a real chance that I might be struck and killed by one of these vehicles on the way to the hospital.
PRAYER: Father God, thank You for loving us and for caring for us. May all who read these words take them to heart and establish You as the rock on which their marriages are built. We ask this in the mighty and precious Name of King Jesus. Amen.
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