Warnings against Adultery
“My son, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them always upon your heart; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For this commandment is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way to life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. For the levy of the prostitute is poverty, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without scorching his feet? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.
Men do not despise the thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger. Yet if caught, he must pay sevenfold; he must give up all the wealth of his house. He who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Wounds and dishonor will befall him, and his reproach will never be wiped away. For jealousy enrages a husband, and he will show no mercy in the day of vengeance. He will not be appeased by any ransom, or persuaded by lavish gifts.”
“My son, keep your father’s commandment, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them always upon your heart; tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you.” Generations ago, parents had more time to spend teaching their children, and children had more respect for their parents as a consequence. In an era when children may be distracted by social media, parental teaching is more important than ever. No matter how much social media may change, moral and spiritual fundamentals are timeless. I am grateful for everything my parents taught me.
“For this commandment is a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way to life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. For the levy of the prostitute is poverty, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.” Most of us are poor listeners and worse learners! The key phrase here is “the reproofs of discipline.” What makes good judgment? Bad experience! If we refuse to learn from the bad experiences of others, we are likely to suffer the same consequences ourselves. Adultery starts with lust in one’s heart and being captivated by flirtatious looks. But anyone foolish enough to become involved with a prostitute will wind up impoverished and possibly suffering from HIV, Hepatitis B and C, gonorrhea, or syphilis. Then there is also the possibility of blackmail. Currently, prominent American politicians are attempting to dodge accusations of involvement in a prostitution scandal involving children. Denials are worthless because the stain on the character refuses to budge.
“Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without scorching his feet? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished.” Adultery carries its own punishment along with it. Sleeping with someone else’s spouse is as foolish as embracing fire or walking on hot coals. This meme says it all: “Follow your heart” has ended more marriages, caused more addictions, mutilated more bodies, destroyed more souls, and ended more lives than Satan imagined. It’s one of hell’s most effective slogans. Don’t follow your heart, follow the One Who created it.”
“Men do not despise the thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger. Yet if caught, he must pay sevenfold; he must give up all the wealth of his house. He who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Wounds and dishonor will befall him, and his reproach will never be wiped away. For jealousy enrages a husband, and he will show no mercy in the day of vengeance. He will not be appeased by any ransom, or persuaded by lavish gifts.” Adultery is a horrible sin against humanity because it demonstrates a lack of respect for an established marriage and the two spouses, as well as a lack of self-respect. The non-adulterous spouse will feel devalued as a human being and will suffer a crippling lack of self-esteem. The non-adulterous spouse must also overcome a number of fears and insecurities if he/she is to forgive the adulterous spouse and continue in the marriage. And what about the adulterer? If the adulterer is married, his/her spouse will suffer the same fears and damage of self-esteem. The net result of adultery may be the failure of two marriages. And what about the children of these marriages? No matter how much the adulterer attempts to reassure the children, they will still feel rejected. The adulterer/adulteress is also setting a terrible example for children. Children who have witnessed a parent involved in a series of adulterous relationships may refuse to get married themselves because they are so afraid that their marriage might fail.
APPLICATION: Why is marriage referred to as an institution and why is it important? Being in a relationship but refusing to commit to marriage implies that we might want to bail out quickly at some point. Relationships are temporary, no matter how many years they last. There is always the question of whose surname the children of a relationship will bear and even who inherits when the partners die. Children need consistency and stability that only a marriage commitment can give.
There can be extenuating circumstances. I once cared for a patient with complicated surgical problems who had been counseled by a Social Security worker in the U.S. that she and her beloved husband should divorce because her medical benefits would be better that way. At the time I cared for her, she was agonizing over this idea.
Two of the overlooked causes of infidelity are self-pity coupled with a sense of entitlement. There is a popular misconception that one’s beloved should make one happy and if happiness is not coming instantly, one is free to look elsewhere because one DESERVES happiness. Sniff! Sniff! Balderdash! Poppycock! Rubbish! Happiness is a choice we make ourselves; we cannot demand that someone else be responsible for our happiness. It may have been the late Will Rogers who wisely said that most people are about as happy as they choose to be. Most of the patients I care for are extremely poor; yet, they and their families choose to be happy despite their poverty. On the other hand, I once had a friend whose family was extremely wealthy, and that family was riddled with health challenges, alcoholism, and a number of other problems. Money did not buy that family happiness; in fact, they were constantly concerned lest someone take their money away from them.
But what if you enter into a relationship and then marry? Isn’t that all right? The problem is that the relationship began as a temporary one, and that sense of impermanence will always be there, unless both partners commit their lives to Christ and recommit their marriage to Him as well. The only wise foundation for a marriage is for it to begin and end in Jesus Christ and for God to be the bed rock on which the marriage is built. I am speaking from personal experience, because I have done it both ways. My first marriage was based on a relationship and it fell apart quickly. My current marriage based on Jesus Christ is approaching its 42nd anniversary.
“Oh! You are narrow-minded!” you might say. Jesus said in John 14:6 “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No man comes to the Father except by me.” If you need to reach a destination, why mess around with alternate routes when there is already a super highway available? You are free to disagree with me and argue with me; however, why not ask God instead?
PRAYER: Father God, thank You for loving us and for caring for us. Lord, many of us have been wounded in relationships and are afraid to commit for fear of more pain. Speak to our hearts and show us Your Way, Your Truth, and Your Life. In the mighty and precious Name of King Jesus. Amen.
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