1 Timothy 3 Qualifications for Overseers and Deacons
1 “Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task.”
Choosing leaders in any group is a tough proposition. Leaders must be hard-working, of good character, kind, insightful, and able to encourage or to reproach if necessary.
Sometimes the manner in which churches select their leaders differs from best practices. Unfortunately, there are many churches where the wealthy control everything, including the pastor, his salary, and his accommodation. Years ago, Grace Nies Fletcher wrote about her upbringing in the home of a poor Methodist pastor’s family in the autobiographical novel entitled Preacher’s Kids. In the early part of the twentieth century, the pastor and his family were literally at the mercy of wealthy members of their congregation, particularly the female ones. Despite being a very godly family, the Nies family endured scathing criticisms as well as unscheduled inspections by prominent church members. (The novel is delightful and can be read on-line at https://archive.org/stream/preacherskids013233mbp/preacherskids013233mbp_djvu.txt )
2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. Why are these qualities so important? When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, the prophet Nathan rebuked him, saying, “You have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme…” Church leaders must never do anything to drag God’s name into the dirt. Sadly, there have been many instances where a church leader has proven to be a “Strass-Engel Haus-Teufel,” that is an angel on the street but a devil while at home. A leader must exhibit all the desirable characteristics he hopes to engender in others. Notice that each of these desirable characteristics interlaces with the others, with none of them being neglected.
4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) Respect for others is something that must be learned at home, and no daycare is likely to teach it. Respect is also not taught in a few minutes but is learned over several years. Parents must respect each other and they must also respect their children as individuals. I always cringe when someone labels a child or a grandchild as a “mini-me,” for such a saying assumes the child has no personality apart from copying the parent or grandparent. Obedience can be demanded or it can be nurtured; heart-felt obedience is far better than anything else. Obedience that results from threats of any kind. A parent used to bullying his/her children will quite likely resort to similar tactics outside the home.
6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. Each one of us has passed through the stage of recent conversion; however, it’s a big mistake to promote such people to a position of leadership for the power might go to their heads. Remember that Satan thought he was equal to God, and new converts are likely to suffer from the same malady. It takes time and a great deal of living to learn how to handle people and when to listen and when to ignore them. Generally, most of us learn from our mistakes, and that’s fine, unless our mistakes will turn out to have drastic consequences for the church.
7 He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. Sometimes, outsiders notice more than those who are within a situation. Having no loyalty to a group, outsiders may be willing to air their criticisms publicly.
8 In the same way, deacons are to be worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. 9 They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. 10 They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons. If at all possible, church leadership should be developed, with people serving as deacons for some time before being promoted further. This process allows the congregation to observe and to complain or compliment, depending on the behavior of the deacon.
11 In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. Here Paul recognizes that women will play important roles in the church, for they are usually the ones behind the scenes, making sure that everything works as it should. But with such exposure comes great responsibility. Such women must constantly be careful of who they speak, realizing that church business is not to be shared indiscriminately.
How much damage can one vicious-minded person do? In one church, a single lady drove away several families and may have been responsible for some of the children in those families rejecting Christ because of her behavior. All of us must remember that we are to advertise Jesus, not to discourage people from coming to Him.
12 A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well.
Again, if a man is unfaithful to his wife, he is also being unfaithful to everyone else in his household. Children in such situations may hesitate before marrying themselves for fear everything will fall apart. And again, a leader who does not handle his family well has little chance of succeeding in leading a church.
13 Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus. In the light of these warnings, we must commend the millions of men and women throughout the world who have served sacrificially, exhibiting every desirable grace. Such individuals have proven their worth and have been as refreshing as a drink of cold water in a dry and thirsty land.
Even if we never aspire to church leadership, we should still study the qualities about which Paul is writing. If our homes are peaceful and pleasant, with all family members respecting one another, others will be drawn to us. We can then exercise hospitality and tell them about the Jesus whom we serve, who has given us life, and light, and peace, and hope.
PRAYER: Father God, thank You for loving us and caring for us. Lord, help each one of us to become living examples of Your Grace. In the mighty and precious Name of King Jesus. Amen.
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