They’re burying one of our closest friends today, and we can’t be there. This is the part of missionary life that few people speak about, but it’s one of the toughest. Financial limitations? No problem! Both my husband and I grew up in families where money was a bit scarce. Devoting time to caring for others? Giving up luxury vacations to pay for blood, medicine, and food for patients? Sure, those are challenges, but anybody in any kind of ministry faces similar problems. There are many things we have sacrificed gladly for the sake of God’s calling on our lives. But once in a while, special events come along and remind us that our friends and loved ones are back in America and we are not. Funerals of close friends serve as one of those reminders.
Today as our friends gather at Getwell Church in Southaven, MS, we will be fortunate if we are able to watch the proceedings as they are streamed. But watching something doesn’t make up for being there and hugging people, sharing stories of the loved one, and yes-crying a bit with the family. While those attending the funeral will be treated to a gallery of photos and a video depicting Billy’s long life of 84 years and those whom he blessed during that time, all we will have is memories.
Jesus’ disciple Simon Peter was one of those guys who was forever asking the tough questions. I guess having spent years hauling fish out of the Sea of Galilee and battling those sudden storms left Peter with no patience for temporizing. When Peter had a question, he simply spat it out. And this particular day, Peter was worried.
Matthew tells the story in Matthew 19:16-29A rich young ruler approaches Jesus, asking what he has to do to gain eternal life. Jesus tells him to follow the Ten Commandments. When the man claims that he’s already doing that, Jesus advises him, “If you want to give it all you’ve got,” Jesus replied, “go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me.” The young man gulps hard and leaves dejected because he is very rich and very attached to his belongings. (But wait-there are some traditions that claim this young ruler was Mark, who later wrote one of the Gospels and who traveled with Paul and Barnabas.)
Peter and the other disciples have left their homes and their jobs to follow Jesus. Peter, his brother Andrew, and his friends James and John have walked away from thriving and businesses at Capernaum. All four have left their boats and their relatives to follow Jesus and are faithfully continuing to do so.
Matthew 19:27 Then Peter chimed in, “We left everything and followed you. What do we get out of it?”
28-30 Jesus replied, “Yes, you have followed me. In the re-creation of the world, when the Son of Man will rule gloriously, you who have followed me will also rule, starting with the twelve tribes of Israel. And not only you, but anyone who sacrifices home, family, fields—whatever—because of me will get it all back a hundred times over, not to mention the considerable bonus of eternal life. This is the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first.”
Now Peter is asking Jesus what he and the others will get out of the deal. Has this sacrifice all been for nothing? Not only have the disciples given up being with their families but they have also sacrificed sharing special celebrations-birthdays, feast days, weddings, and funerals. Led by the Holy Spirit, Jesus has crisscrossed the land, leaving the disciples wondering where they will go next. Jesus assures Peter that his followers will receive houses and lands and families, both in this life and in the next. But in the meantime, the disciples find themselves isolated from their families by the call on their lives.
We met Billy Proctor shortly after arriving in Memphis, TN, in late June 1983. I was the new pediatric surgery resident at LeBonheur Children’s Hospital. Billy and his wife Carla were members at Faith United Methodist Church, a charismatic congregation just over the line in Southaven, MS. Eventually, we joined Faith and became fast friends with Billy and Carla. If you look at photos of Billy during that time, you see a middle-aged guy with a grin that just won’t quit, a grin that draws you in to whatever he has going on. Billy had that grin for his entire life, and I’m sure that the day Billy graduated into heaven, when Jesus reached out his hand to Billy to pull him out of a failing body, Billy grinned more widely than he ever had before.
It’s impossible for me to enumerate all the different ways Billy and Carla have helped us over the years. The Proctors have sheltered us, advised us, encouraged us, and handled our stateside mail for us. Billy has handled our finances, helping invest our Social Security and whatever other monies have come in that have not been used for ministry expenses. Billy has also shared travel tips with us, tips on local restaurants, and some of his other passions.
We have watched the Proctors’ children reach adulthood, marry, and become parents and develop careers of their own. We have rejoiced over births and grieved over untimely deaths. We have cheered for all kinds of successes and admired photos. Our lives and those of the Proctor family have become interwoven.
I am completing this about an hour before the funeral will begin. We can only pray that our internet connection will remain stable, allowing us to watch, even if it’s at a distance of several thousand miles.
The next time you ask a missionary based overseas for their challenges, remember there are many things about which we might be hesitant to share. We don’t want to come off as whiners. But we can only rejoice that some day we will all be in heaven together. As the old Gospel song says, “When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be! When we all see Jesus, we’ll sing and shout the victory!”
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